10 weeks ago, i started running. i know this because of instagram and other social media. without this “record” of my life, i would remember nothing. seriously. if it doesn’t get posted to facebook etc, it is basically as if it didn’t happen. especially now that we have two kids. i can’t keep track of anything.
anyway, i started running because i knew i needed to do something to help shed the baby weight. running is cheap. running doesn’t require a lot of advanced planning or a specific schedule. running doesn’t require a ton of equipment. for all of these reasons, i decided to give it a try. if you are a long time reader you’ll remember that way back when (think late 2011 – i’m telling you it feels like a lifetime ago) i attempted to be a “runner.” i tackled couch 2 5k, but then i stopped. like completely. it wasn’t just that i never pushed myself beyond a 5k, (honestly, i’m not sure if i ever got quite that far — i ran for 30 minutes but never kept track of distance or pace) but i put away my running shoes and called it a day. i’m not really sure why but if i had to guess it was because there was always something else i could be doing – and running was never ever, ever at the top of my list.
but now, and no one is more shocked at this than me, it is at the very top of my list. not because i LOVE running – because i don’t. i spend the vast majority of my running time thinking about, praying that, this run is almost over. but, my run is me time. and me time is so precious now. i’d rather go for a run than sit on the couch and watch pretty little liars. i’d rather go for a run than hide in the basement and crochet. i’d rather go for a run than try to get an extra hour of sleep.
running lets me clear my head. i’m a crazy woman who listens to podcasts while i run (the time passes by SO much more quickly than listening to music + the added bonus, i sometimes learn something new!) and so i’m often running with a ridiculous grin on my face because of something that peter sagal has just said. sometimes i have tears streaming down my face because my run is the 1st time in days that i have been able to walk away from my whining kids and my dirty house and my husband who i feel like is CONSTANTLY getting the short end of the stick and the guilt i feel about that – is just too overwhelming. running is my chance at a little freedom. i live in fear of when Z turns 6 months old and is therefore old enough to go in the jogging stroller (who am i kidding, the kid is 16 lbs and can hold is head up like a pro – he’s ready now. but the label says 6 months and i plan to hang on to that excuse as long as possible). it won’t be as easy for me to walk out of the house and leave both kids behind – it won’t be as easy to get away. (also, running with a stroller seems WAY tough).
i’m stronger than i’ve ever been (which may not be saying much…but still) although EBN did ask me today if i had another baby in my belly (thanks kid). and i’m tan – in a way that only someone with fair skin and freckles can appreciate. i get to breathe in the fresh, salty, pacifica air. i get to run past the ocean and through the canyons of the mountains. i get to clear my mind and think deep thoughts while wearing shorts and shoes that are so bright they glow. can’t see a reason to stop anytime soon.