I’ve been reduced to blogging from my phone. It’s just after 10am and the BUG is asleep in the back seat of the car. We were on our way to the park, which, it should be noted, is approximately 1.5 miles from the house. But instead of running and playing and getting some much needed fresh air – she’s asleep and we are parked in the shade.

If I had learned anything from the last almost 21 months, I would not be parked – hell, I wouldn’t even stop for red lights, even slowing down could disrupt her slumber. And it’s slumber she needs. She was up a bit before 5 – which makes this early nap understandable. If you follow me on twitter (@frecklesinfog) then you know we’ve been a sick house for the last few days. We’re on the way to being better (she still has a nasty cough but I think it sounds worse then it actually is – is that a real thing?) but sleep is still important and I’m fairly certain that we haven’t been getting enough.

For now, I’m going to slowly pull out of this very steep parking spot and head south – thinking she might enjoy waking up to an ocean view.

our weekend kicked off friday afternoon when family arrived for a jam-packed overnight.  two toddlers, an infant, and four adults…that’s a lot.  but between giggling, running circles around the kitchen island, an extended visit to the park, a group bath, countless books read and a lesson in bucket wearing led by EBN – good times were had by all.

ABN and i blew up the air mattress and slept in the living room, staring up at the stars through the skylight.  it was the closest we’ve gotten to camping in a while.  EBN really is her mama’s daughter – at times the scene was a bit overwhelming – lot’s of noise, people and stuff.  i began to notice that at the most chaotic moments EBN would disappear into her own room to read books and sit by herself.  in my mind she was taking a deep breath.

saturday morning started off bright and early (remember, there were 3 little ones!) but after breakfast and kisses goodbye, the BNs headed out to the east bay to have a mini-MINI-camp reunion.  4 of my closest friends from my summers spent in malibu were in town with their baby girls and so the 9 of us (6 adults, 3 kiddos…major math) got together for brunch.  it’s crazy that so much time can pass between visits (like years) but when we see each other it’s as if we were just all together, complaining about the food and singing at the top of our lungs.  bringing the girls together was really the highlight.  in just a few short years we’ll be packing their trunks and loading them onto big yellow buses.  it’s awesome that they are within 6 months of each other and will get to be in the same cabin where they will learn that camp friends truly make the very best friends.  (and we are all bad parents because none of us took pictures – FAIL).

after coming home and napping (all of us), ABN and i enjoyed the penultimate at-home date of sushi and the last disc of friday night lights.  omg.  i was a mess – hell, i’m still a mess.  i was prepared and at the same time, not.prepared.at.all.  i sobbed.  like, super ugly, nose running, mascara everywhere, sob.  it was gross.  i had to go stand outside in the rain.  i just can’t believe it’s over.  texas forever.

sunday morning after lots of baby/mama cuddle time on the couch, we took a family hike.  EBN has finally decided that she’s not so into being carried in the back-pack (gone are the days of ABN getting his exercise by carrying 30 extra pounds through the mountains of pacifica) and now she loves to scale the trails herself – a stick and a rock in each hand.  we don’t go far and we do go slow – but the time together is super fun and EBN on a hike is pretty funny stuff.

i spent the rest of the day prepping for the local 4th of july celebration.  i picked up decorations (i hate the dollar store) and organized supplies.

we’ve got a very busy week ahead, meetings, work and 4th of july prep and then, thursday, NANI and P’PA arrive to see little EBN (they will see us too but we all know the real reason for their visit).  if it’s a bit quiet around here it’s just because i’m running around like the crazy mama that i am – i tend to over-commit.

ps. tomkat!?!?  obviously, i’ve been expecting the split since the day i found out they were together.  but after all this time i just sorta forgot about them.  i also heard the news from ABN – now that was shocking!

pps. i got my latest STITCH FIX box!  you guys – i found the dress for the wedding in september plus 2 more!  i can’t wait to share what i got later in the week.

yesterday was sort of a crappy day.  i was back after a quick trip down to LA on monday for work (bet you didn’t even know i was gone) and the early wake-up (4am) and late bedtime (2am) took a toll.  EBN was clingy (who’d blame her) and still struggling with sleep and my to do list was really (and continues to be) miles and miles and miles to…you get the idea.

i spent my afternoon working and feeling blah and as a reward to myself, instead of chocolate, after sending several emails, i’d read through a couple of blogs in my reader – because getting lost in other people’s stories sometimes helps.  i came across KAYLAH’S LIST and decided maybe creating a list of my own would help my mood as well.  i decided to quit working with 20 minutes of babysitter-time to spare, crank up my whining women music and think about the little things that i “liked”.

i have to admit, it was really hard to not just list things that 1. make me fat.  2. cost money.  and 3. would make my to-do list even longer.  #3 was the hardest for sure but i tried really hard – it turns out a lot of the my “liked” things take time, and time is one thing i don’t seem to have very much of.  there’s a healthy balance of stuff on my list.  everything from TITOS TACOS (see #1, above) to beach vacations (#2) to a lot wonderful things that are part of my daily life and i don’t even have to try (folding laundry with EBN, oversized sweatshirts, blue sky and 90s pop music…just to name a few).

i’m not sure if making the list made me feel better about my day – although the burrito that ABN brought home for dinner sure did – but it has made me remember to focus on the good.  there are some things on this list that i’m yearning for – no doubt – but there’s a lot of good stuff that’s already there.  i think my challenge to myself, over the next few weeks, is to focus on what’s there – and then maybe later on, i can add in some extras.  in other words – no new projects for a while.  no extra dinner parties, no trips, no quilts.  i’m going to take on what i’ve got in front of me – and see if i can make time for some of my likes that are getting lost in the day-to-day.

do you have a “liked” list?  what are some of your favorite things that get lost in the shuffle?

i have the passover post ready to go – minus the photos – which i had planned to upload and edit tonight.  except that it’s now 10pm on sunday and i’m just sitting down in front of my computer.  what might be keeping from getting to this ever important post?  a screaming toddler of course.

ugh.  it’s been a long few nights.  as you may remember, in recent months EBN has been a rock start sleeper and going-to-sleeper.  i mean, like, out-of-control-this-can’t-be-real-we’re-so-lucky-let’s-never-talk-about-it-good.  sure we had the random early morning or the occasional short nap but we had NOTHING to complain about.

had.

it turns out EBN had a bit of a set back during the brouhaha that was passover and one nap time that should have gone like every other nap time, for whatever reason (i wasn’t home) went nothing like every other nap time.  it’s the little things – she probably stayed up 15 or 60 minutes too long and she probably didn’t get enough of her bottle and she probably should have had her diaper changed earlier in the experience and probably i should have rushed home to make sure that i was the one to put her down.  not one of these things really should have been such a big deal but apparently when you mix it all together, along with some matzah and the constipation it can cause – you get a toddler who is literally shaking and screaming bloody murder.  i’ve heard the girl cry plenty but NEVER like this.

needless to say, the nap was skipped on this day.  and that night my dad put EBN to sleep and when my dad puts her to bed he rocks her clear to never never land so no issue.

but at every nap or bed time since (we’re coming up on a week of this) she has refused to go to bed after her normal routine.  we start things off the same as always: teeth brushed, bottle, a couple of books and a song or two.  then, bed, wide awake, happy and babbling.  we make our exit and she chats to herself and her crib friends until she drifts off to sleep.  except screw that whole bed, happy and babbling part.  now it’s more like bed kicking and screaming, clawing her way out and shaking…shaking.

so i go in or ABN goes in and we rub her back, which does nothing.  and so we take her out and rock her and sing to her and really, she’s only interested in me rocking her and singing to her.  and she’s really really only interested in me rocking her and singing to her, while she’s curled up in my lap, her head on my chest, her little hand finding it’s way to as close as it can get to my boob (which is pretty close..she’s frisky).  oh, and she’d like to be rocked all the way to sleep.  and on the one hand i’m loving it.  because as many a breast-feeding mama can relate, snuggle time had always been about eating and once the nursing stopped, some of the snuggling stopped too (i mean, EBN has always been very loving – tons of hugs and kisses – but i’ve really missed the cuddles).  this sleep method guarantees at least 90 minutes a day of cuddle time.  but it can’t go on like this.  i’ve got stuff to do, hair to blow dry, dishwashers to empty and let’s not forget…work.  also, how exactly am i supposed to leave the house if the only way to get her down is for me to sing – off key?

i know, i know, this too shall pass.  i’m just stuck somewhere between praying that she just miraculously remembers how to soothe herself and also, sorta hoping that she decides she’d rather just cuddle.

taking a cue from LYDS, i’m currently…

obsessing over…my kid with a bucket on her head. for a kid who won’t wear a hat – she sure does love a bucket.

working on…my CROCHET PROJECT!  my friend is about to pop and i really want to be done in time to send the gift within a reasonable time frame – like before the kid is 18.  it’s the challenge with a homemade present.  on the one hand, it’s from the heart – on the other hand – it takes a lot more planning than visiting an online registry.  wish me luck!

thinking about…my crazy dream last night.  i have crazy dreams often but last night’s felt like it just went on and on and on.  it included being gifted a ridiculous amount of equally ridiculous jewelry and then driving or rather nose-diving off some train tracks.  i’m left feeling…unsettled.

anticipating…uh, PASSOVER.  i’ve got a lot to do not and not a lot of time to do it.  next up – matzo balls.

listening too…they might be giants – HERE COMES SCIENCE.  a current favorite:

eating…nothing yet.  drinking my morning coffee and putting together EBN’s breakfast – banana, strawberries, a handful of cheerios and maybe an egg – a new favorite.  then it’s time to pack up for morning playgroup at a local park – we’re brining snacks!

wishing for…that feeling of being really well rested.  i have no idea why i’m so tired – the kiddo has been sleeping – but my body is literally aching i’m so exhausted.  i’ve been getting a bit more sleep than normal (ie, i’ve been ignoring my alarm in the morning and waiting for EBN to wake up) but i’m waking up more tired than before.  somehow, i don’t see my situation changing anytime soon.

i came back from a wonderful girls’ weekend to find one snotty bug.  so today we’re taking it easy – sleeping in (i know!), munching on oatmeal, playing with puzzles, cuddling on the couch and hopefully taking one very long nap.  you’ll have to wait, just a bit longer, for my breakdown of why there’s NOTHING better than a 45 minute hora, but for now it’s all about my little lady.