someone in this family has SERIOUS baby fever.  and i’ll give you a hint – this person only wants a baby brother, and only wants to name him deek.

it feels like there has been nearly endless baby talk around these parts recently – what with friends welcoming new siblings, mama in constant baby blanket production and with babies deek and sophie (poor sophie, always an afterthought) never outside arms reach.  it has all lead to some funny conversations about babies living in their mommy’s bellies.

a couple of nights ago, sort of out of the blue, i started telling EBN about the night she was born, trying, best as i could, to focus on the details that i thought she could understand.  it went something like this and it has since become part of our evening ritual:

for a very long time you lived in my belly and as you got bigger, my belly got bigger too.  while you were inside i spent a lot of time trying to take very good care of you.  i went on long walks and drank lots of water and even took a nap every now and then.  i’d rub my tummy and talk to you and tell you about what was happening, on the outside.  at night, your daddy would get close to my big belly and read you stories – hoping you would begin to recognize his voice, through the walls of my tummy.  your daddy would always get very tired whenever he read a story and would yawn these big, long yawns.  (at this point in the story, EBN first yawns big and long, like her daddy, and then giggles endlessly).

one day, after you’d been in my belly for a loooong time, i went to see the doctor – to make sure you were happy and healthy.  the doctor looked at me with a big smile and said – it’s time, the baby is ready to come out!  daddy and i were so excited.  i went home and showered and then went back to the hospital where i waited and waited and waited for you to come.  turns out, you wanted to stay in a bit longer – so daddy and i had lots of time to talk and make last-minute plans for your arrival (when mommy gets anxious, she makes lists).  eventually, you decided you were ready too – and so you started pushing, trying to get out.  to help things along, i pushed too – really hard!  together we pushed as hard as we could and eventually you came out and gave a really loud cry to announce your arrival. (at this point, EBN likes to add, POP!).

while you were in my tummy, we didn’t know if you were going to be a boy or a girl so as soon as you were out my doctor said in a big, strong voice, “it’s a baby girl!!”  i was shocked, and asked surprised, “a girl?”, while your daddy was even more confused and asked, “a baby?”.

we cuddled you tight and looked right into your bright blue eyes, and decided your name would be Evie Kayla.  Evie, because of your great-grandfather, Eddie.  the most just and caring and mensch-y person i have ever known – who cared deeply for his family and his world.  i always went to Eddie for advice and guidance and love and,while your Eddie died the year before you were born, the last thing he told me, when i was going through a difficult time at work, was to quit, it was time to start a family.  and so i did.  and we did.  and without his words of wisdom, you wouldn’t be you.

and Kayla.  because of your grandma Karen.  you never got to meet your grandma karen, and neither did i – but she was your daddy’s mommy and she died when he was still very young.  from all the stories that i have heard about your grandma Karen, it is clear that she was nurturing and loving and that she had a gift for bringing people together.  she also happens to have had the most amazing group of girlfriends imaginable and they continue to play a role in daddy’s life and we are so lucky to have them in our lives too.  without her influence on your daddy, he wouldn’t be the man that i love, and you wouldn’t be you, Evie Kayla.

once we had gotten some good cuddling in, your nani and p’pa were your first visitors – followed by a couple of the mahj girls (including BUDDY!!), aunti stef who happened to be in town from los angeles – and she brought a very special recorded singing telegram – and mommy’s dentist, but that’s a story for another time.

—–

ABN, once he caught wind of what was going on, decided to add his two cents to the story – which included a scary episode with me hallucinating in the final moments of labor and seeing clowns (funny that i had decided to leave this part out!).  of course, EBN has completely latched on to this detail and so every night (and morning) she recounts the following: “i was really little in mommy’s belly, then i pushed and mommy pushed, and then there were clowns and then pop, i was out. ” — sounds just about right.

that i made a beef pot roast. or. that my kiddo ate it.

and had seconds.

have a great weekend.

xo, LBN

it’s become our mantra around here.  for the last 24 hours, EBN has been dripping snot and now there’s a nasty cough to go with it. i don’t know how she does it, but it feels like whenever i turn around, she’s found herself with a cold.  i’m hoping if we lay low today she’ll be good as new by tomorrow or thursday at the latest.  we’ve got things to do and people to see and this cold is really cramping our style (plus – the weather is i-die-gorgeous and being stuck inside is exactly the last place either of us want to be).

we did venture into our backyard for a couple hours early in the day, and we’ll probably head back post (extended?!) nap.  we watered the plants that EBN and ABN planted on sunday and spent some time blowing bubbles and playing with the water table.  now she’s watching “penguins” and i’m taking a break from being her human snot rag cuddling to connect with the outside world (sorta) and hopefully, get a little work done.

and proof this kiddo is mine – she turned to me, wiped her nose on the zebra blanket and said, “i love relaxing.”

me too kid, me too.

this cold just won’t quit.

every time i think we’ve seen the last of it, EBN blows another chicken out of each and every orifice and i start to cough. my left eye is like a leaking faucet and it’s made me puffy and red.  it’s the kind of sick that doesn’t keep you in bed (well, i would stay in bed if i could but the little one is interested in getting as many surfaces covered in snot as humanly possible) but makes you cranky and tired and motivated to do a whole lotta nothing except drink hot water with lemon and honey (it also has in no way curbed my appetite – why does passover leave me feeling like a constant bottomless pit?).

its left me especially moody which now, at almost 6pm on sunday evening, i realize is sorta my bad.  i’ve been quick to pout, quick to get annoyed and quick to curl up in a ball and complain.

some of it is warranted.  EBN is beyond adorable but even her most treasured traits can become draining when you are around them 24/7 (with snot).  she narrates constantly – which is one of my favorite of her qualities (hey, i always have someone to talk to!) but when your head is pounding it’s…a lot.  and her new thing is to scream “KLEENEX,” the second the smallest drop of snot begins to travel southward (every .25 seconds).  do you remember the scream that brad pitt emitted when he opened the box to find gwyneth’s head?  times that by 7 and it is sorta close to the piercing scream coming from my house at all hours of day and night.

but some of it’s really not.  or at least, as a mom and a wife, i wish it was easier for me to just let things slide.  or to transition into better a situation instead of stick with the pout (i might need to trademark that term).

“mommy, that’s the biggest snail i ever saw!”

finally this afternoon, after a too-short nap from miss EBN on a day when ABN was stuck with a pile of work (and a much needed grocery trip) i decided enough was enough and the two of us took our snotty-selves to search for snails at the windy and rainy beach.  i know, not great for our colds but i think we are both feeling oodles better (at least mentally).  we’ve now taken a mama-baby shower and are in our pjs before the sun sets. i’ve promised her a pedicure before dinner so i best get to that.

but before i go, as EBN was chasing after the seagulls on the beach this conversation occurred:

EBN (running, arms flapping as is her way): “hi goose!, hi goose!”

LBN: “kiddo, that’s a seagull, not a goose.”

EBN: “oh, that’s why the goose didn’t hear us!”

for chanukah, not this is past year, but the year before, when EBN had just turned 1, my parents sent a copy of good night moon.  this copy was different from the two copies that we already had.  the copy that they sent included their voices, recorded – with the turn of every page, nani or p’pa read from the famous story.  and it was terrifying.  to all of us.  there was screaming – and not the good kind.

because we are responsible parents and we wish to not scar our daughter or ourselves, we put the book out of sight, in an overstuffed storage closet and forgot about it.

but then, this weekend, as our friends on the east coast spent their saturday digging out, i got a mean case of west coast guilt and decided i should probably do some hard labor of my own.  and so i tackled the aforementioned storage closet.  in it i found enough bleach wipes to last at least until after passover (whatever, they get the grime off good!), a dora coloring book (or 7) and hot pink paper napkins left over from EBN’s baby naming which means either i need to think of a major art project or all our future dinner parties are going to need to have a girlie theme.  i also found the book and because i’m a mama who likes to live on the edge, i decided to tempt fate.

yes, i labeled my shelves and i’m not sure there is anything in this world that makes me happier

omg, girlfriend freaked out in the very best way.  ”P’PA?!?!” she shrieked upon hearing his voice.  followed quickly by, “NANI TOO!?!?!,” as she turned the page.  it has basically gone on like this non stop for the last 48 hours.  not only can we all recite goodnight moon backyards (not that we couldn’t before) but it basically feels like nani and p’pa have come for a weekend visit but only have one thing to say (and man, do they say it loud – why is there no volume on this thing?).

also, i’m not sure if i’ve mentioned this before and it seems like the appropriate time.  EBN calls oatmeal – which she eats on a regular basis – ‘hot’.  i don’t know where this came from but it’s nothing new and my guess is it will last – through that awkward moment when she refers to it as ‘hot’ in front of her friends and everyone looks at her confused (read: this happened to me).

all of this is to say that when we, or nani and p’pa, read good night moon EBN is quick to correct bowl full of mush.  no, no, she says.  hot.

you can’t get anything by her.

EBN and the saber-toothed tiger take the potty head on

some jews spend christmas eating chinese food and going to the movies.  some volunteer and others head to disneyland.  in the BN house?  well, apparently we potty train.

there was a method to my madness.  i knew EBN was ready.  heck, she’d been ready to get started since about…20 months when she started talking about the potty – incessantly.  ”mommy potty.”  ”daddy potty.”  mommy potty quick!”  understanding that the interest was there i was quick to put a kiddo potty in our bathroom and without any effort, EBN started sitting whenever giving the opportunity.  she loved the routine – the wiping, the dumping, the flushing.  but it was all an act.  other than when she was bare-bottom before a bath, i never pulled down her pants or took off her diaper.  it just felt like so.much.work.  i simply wasn’t ready to put the effort in.  and sure enough, after a few weeks of “pretending to pee” EBN got tired of it too and the potty went back to live in the garage.

i was pretty sure i’d failed as a mother.  my kiddo had showed signs and i’d missed the moment.  i kicked myself for a while, decided she’d have to go to college in diapers and moved on to other things – like giggling when she repeated my expressions (there is nothing cuter that EBN saying, O.M.G in reaction to something).  and then, one day we were hanging out in my closet (girlfriend spends a lot of time in there) as i was putting away laundry and she pointed to a pair of my underwear.  ”mommy undies,” she announced.  that’s right, i told her.  and one day you’ll wear undies too.  and just like in elmo potty time [we watch this dvd...constantly] you’ll get to pick-out your own undies.

well, she was sold from that moment on.  on our next trip to target (probably later the same day) she picked her own undies (thomas, toy story and dora –  a little girl in little boy undies = i die) and i decided that christmas to new years would be the perfect time to get started.

i read this book, recommended by a friend, and while i didn’t follow each and every rule along the way, i found the advice extremely helpful.  turns out, potty training had very little to do with whether or not EBN was ready and a whole lot more to do if i was ready to step up and make the commitment necessary to get ‘er done.

here’s what worked for us:

• no training pants:  when EBN woke up on xmas eve, rather than bake cookies for santa, we waved farewell to diapers (during the day).  she spent her first day naked from the waist down, her second and third day commando and on day four, she started wearing undies (which, for EBN, was a huge draw – THOMAS UNDIES – there is not much in this life that is more exciting).  if she peed, she peed and it was messy and a tad annoying and i did a lot of laundry on day 1.  but it meant that i knew as soon as she started to pee and could get her to the potty mostly in time.  if she had been wearing a pull-up my guess is i would have missed the moment.  i read that it can also be confusing to the kiddo to use a pull-up because it feels like a diaper, but as i mentioned above, it’s not really about the kid
• staying home – by choosing to get started over xmas, a time that we had no plans and no commitments, it meant it was easy to stay home.  staying home for the first three days was key.  it meant EBN could be naked.  it meant she could have an accident and it wasn’t a big deal.  it meant the potty was always within arms reach.
• my partner was around – getting started when ABN was working from home was SUPER helpful.  you can ask him and he’ll agree – i ran the potty training show – no question.  for days 1 and 2 i didn’t leave her side for more than a minute or two, watching for the clues that it was about to be go time, and getting her on the potty.  but potty training is exhausting and so having ABN around made me feel less trapped.  it also meant that EBN got to leap off the potty each and every time she peed and run straight to her favorite person ever (aka ABN) and share the news of her latest deposit.  and believe me, while i did all the work (and laundry) no one celebrated EBN more than her daddy.  [our normal schedule also includes a babysitter twice a week and while i know BUDDY would have been more than happy to take on the first few days of potty training, i felt like it was much more fair for her to come into the equation when we had about a week of practice first].
• we started with the small potty, but we quickly switched to the big potty – while i was happy staying home for a few days, i knew i couldn’t keep it up for long and while i know moms who keep a kiddo potty in the trunk of the car, i wasn’t sure that would work for us (plus, i think they’re gross).  once EBN had peeing down, i started having her sit on the big potty (with an attachment – i’m not nuts).  at first she was terrified but after two pees she was more than fine and now it’s just our way.  ABN turned to amazon (duh) and bought me this beauty to keep in the diaper bag. technically you can attach a bag and use it as a mini/self-standing potty but we bypassed that stage.  i like that it has hand grips which mostly prevent EBN from touching the public toilets.
• we established a schedule – we try to pee before bed and naps and as soon as we get up.  we try to pee before we leave the house and before we head home if we are out (and the bathroom is clean – enough – my standards have changed).  these times of day are non-negotiable – EBN tries, and i try.  other than that, i let EBN tell me when she has to go.  i trust her.  sometimes, if i’m pretty sure she needs to go i’ll say, i’m going to trust you to tell me when you need to go.  i’ve decided i’m empowering her.  it’s also probably bullshit.
• chocolate chips – bribery works.  for the first 4 days that we potty trained each and every time EBN made it to the potty she got one chocolate chip.  you would think she was getting a barbie dream car and a hot fudge sundae and front row tickets to the NKOTB concert.  she would go nuts for one freaking chocolate chip.  if only life would remain so simple.  a routine quickly developed – i’d sit in front of her while she sat on the potty, often reading or singing a song but as soon as she knew, “it’s coming,” even before the first tinkle hit the water, she’d screech at the top of her lungs, “CHOCOLATE CHIP.”  and it was so.  even after we stopped the chocolate chip dispensing, she still tends to announce her business is on its way by screaming chocolate chip.
• we’re taking it slow – we’re a month out now and while i can claim pretty much complete day-time victory, EBN still sleeps in a diaper and will…forever?  there’s no way i’m anywhere close to waking her up in the middle of the night to go so until she wakes up on her own or wakes up in the morning still dry, we’re going to stick with what works.  [it should also be noted that 99.9% of the time she poops while she is babbling to herself first thing in the morning.  so it's in her diaper.  we've worked on doing it in the potty and we've had a few success stories -  i'll spare most of the details except to say that two of these successes were at target - my kid is weird.  for now, as long as she's pooping and not getting a complex about it, we're cool.  she likes her privacy (can't blame her) so i think she might need to a bit more independent about her potty-ing before she's regularly doing her business the way we would all prefer.  if you've got any experience to share - i'd love to hear it in comments].

i know we’re a long way from being done.  i am sure that one day i won’t think about where the nearest potty is, how long it’s been since her last sip of water, or how many slices of pear she had at breakfast.  but for now, it’s basically all potty all the time.  and i couldn’t be prouder of myself my little girl.