a while back, my friend wrote THIS ARTICLE for a parenting website.  it’s worth a read for sure (she emailed me, in advance, to gauge the gross-out factor…i approved ).  and while the specific examples are just a tad different – less talk of menstruation in my house, more talk of boobs (and who has them) and nipples (we all do), i understand the sentiment.

over the last 2 1/2 years (and really, in the preceding 10 months of pregnancy) it’s been tough for me to keep up to date with my friends who live across the country.  what used to be weekly (if not daily) phone calls, now occur monthly, when i’m lucky (and requires the following: EBN takes her scheduled nap, my work is done – or near done, the weather is nice enough for me to venture outside (i don’t talk in the house while she sleeping in fear of waking her – i inherited my dad’s loud phone voice), and i’m up to date on nashville).  for better or worse (mostly worse) we’re left to rely on social media to follow along in each other’s life.  it’s not a substitute for real face time.  but it’s so much better than nothing at all.  i live to see the birthday parties, saturdays at the park, political interests, cute outfits (kiddos and mamas).  you get.

anyway, probably a year ago, i, admittedly, was really slacking in the “picking up the phone and calling my friends” department, and one of my besties (thank goodness for real friends) called me on it.  not only did she miss me, she said, but she also admitted that she was going through a bit of a rough patch (which i had totally missed) and it was hard to read and see my seemingly perfect life on facebook and in this space.

and that got me thinking – am i keeping this space real enough?  obviously, i treasure the special and amazing events and its important to me that there is some record of the wonderful memories that make up our life.  and it’s not that i mean to skip over the negative but typically, when i sit down to write and reflect on what feels important, the moments of frustration/tension/eye-rolling have passed and don’t stand out anymore.  (also, when reviewing the archives of this space, there seems to be quite enough bitching…if you ask me…or ABN i’m sure ).

all of this is really lead-up to me saying – while this past weekend included many, many highlights (as documented HERE and on facebook), there were hard moments too.  and because i want to paint an actual picture of sacramento weekend 2013 for myself, and my readers….here’s a rundown:

• EBN and i enthusiastically loaded into the car at exactly 4pm on friday to meet ABN in the east bay (he would take BART) for an early dinner.  a drive that should have taken 50 minutes took 2 hours and 45 minutes, and that only got us about a quarter of the way to sacramento.
• EBN went absolutely bonkers (in a good way) when she saw her big girl bed.  there was shrieking and jumping and lots of snuggling under the covers.  she then woke up at 3:30am on saturday, fussing, and refused to go back to sleep.  sure she happily cuddled with me in her bed, but she refused to lay still or quit bonking me on the nose, or stop saying, “hi mama,” every 30 seconds…and at 6am was up for good.
• we planned the trip to sacramento so that we could enjoy some time in the sun, before it got too hot – the weather was perfect – hot in the sun, cool in the shade, and comfortable enough to sit outside for dinner on saturday night.  unfortunately we forgot to confirm that the hotel had a swimming pool – oops
• EBN had no accidents the entire trip (i mean, accidents have never really been her thing…but still – worth celebrating!).  she also hadn’t pooped since wednesday so during the trip she would yell, “i need to poop!!” and then we would run to the closet bathroom where she would refuse to even sit on the toilet before deciding that, in fact, she didn’t need to go.  repeat.  repeat. repeat.
• due to the lack of sleep on friday night EBN took an epic nap on saturday afternoon – and so did we.  it was needed by all parties.  EBN slept great on saturday night too!  i think the day completely exhausted her.  unfortunately, sleeping in did not happen for me on mother’s day – is there anything a mama wants more?  there was lots of talk about ABN and EBN getting out so that i could get a little extra shut eye but it’s hard in a hotel (i get it) and we didn’t have a real plan in place
• we planned our trip home perfectly so that EBN would nap and she fell asleep before we even got on the highway. she then woke up 90 minutes into our trip home (we still had about 40 minutes to go) screaming and claiming an immediate need to poop (who could blame her).  of course by this point we were passed the last exit before the bay bridge but not quite on the bridge itself and not.moving.  thank god, again, for the ipad.  which proved to be enough distraction – on both counts.
• while EBN had the best weekend of her life, i felt a little blue that there was no planning in place to make the day nice and relaxing for me.  don’t get me wrong – the weekend was full of family fun, but between getting up early, packing up the room (and, in my haste, we forgot coco – luckily, coco has been located and is on her/his?? way back to us!!), sitting in traffic, unpacking and doing 3 loads of laundry – i got a bit resentful.  the shit hit the fan for me when i found myself driving home, stuck in traffic, while my two great loves snoozed the afternoon away.  i get that i’m being ridiculous – but no one said i was perfect.  (although perfect might be my new, oversized, fleece, post-hot-tub robe!  such a thoughtful gift from EBN and ABN).

so, in an effort to quit telling lies on facebook (or half truths – or bits and pieces) that’s sacramento – the good, the bad and the lack of poop.

turns out, girlfriend was just waiting until we got home.

she craves routine.

just like here mama.

ps. do you love the photo above?  thanks to the lovely ladies at a beautiful mess, there’s an app for that!  makes my life more fun (and a bit more beautiful).  check it out – you’re sure to enjoy!

1. we don’t travel light

2. color whenever possible

3. my little hoarder

4. belinda carlisle forever

5. nothing like a bowl of oatmeal on a 90+ degree day

6. checking out the trains

7. followed by moment of panic when i realized her head could get stuck

8. my little conductor (and lest you thought we forgot baby deek at home)

9. the innocence of not knowing the difference between fro-yo and ice cream

10. fantasy becomes reality

11. trains in real life

12. a little mama time

13. enjoying ice cream – the real deal.

what can i say?  it was a 2 ice cream kind of weekend.  throw in a big girl bed (she got the king in the bedroom and we squeezed into the smaller bed in the living room) AND live music at dinner (girlfriend knows how to dance), i think this weekend might go down in history for EBN.  so thankful she made me a mama.

as soon as DBN announced her engagement (over skype!  from taiwaan!) i got i got excited about planning a shower.  DBN is a girl who deserves a celebration and i couldn’t wait to do it up right.

did you see those awesome tea cookies?  yeah, my dad gets full credit on that one.  and the flowers?  one of DBN’s friends came up with the great idea of gifting mason jars labeled with chalkboard paint (she got a full set and the supplies to make more – totally jealous!).

each woman was asked to pass along words of wisdom or life lessons to share and their gifts went along with these traditions and tidbits.  i put together a book of all their words and gifted that to the bride to be.  also a preview of what is to come:

the cat is finally out of the bag. this is the HUGE crochet project i’ve been working on. a queen-sized blanket for DBN for her wedding. and i’ve been making major progress, until…i found a mistake that i just couldn’t live with. and so, i started pulling…

that’s my pissed off pulling face.

and pulling…

and pulling some more…

it’s stinking pretty and i’m glad i’m taking the time to make sure it’s done right.

july is right around the corner…

this past thursday, EBN and i (oh, and DEEK, let us not forget the ever present, DEEK) put on our cutest duds and took the train into “the big city.”  we’d been trying to find a time to meet ABN for lunch for weeks but due to busy work calendars, unpredictable weather, and a nap schedule that is not to be messed with – we kept putting it off.  but at the every last-minute, i deemed thursday the day and i’m so glad i did.  not only were our schedules wide open but it also turned out to be take your kiddo to work day!  clearly it was meant to be.

the train continues to be the highlight (for her, not for me).  she was sure to talk for the entire ride – saying hi to every stranger, more than once, lest anyone feel left out or ignored.  she then climbed all 37 stairs from BART to the street before i quickly whisked her inside ABN’s building before she got a chance to play peace-maker with the two men fighting on the corner.

there was some brief coloring and extended chair spinning and then we ventured downstairs to the food trucks which resulted in someone having a furrowed brow:

turns out “the big city” might just be a tad overwhelming. she much preferred running circles around the lunch table back up in the office, high-fiving ABN’s male coworkers (she’s already SUCH a flirt) and most of all, spending quality time with her daddy.

not sure if we’re invited back (we tend to make a bit of a scene) but i know the little one is already plotting her return.

sorry for the disappearing act at the end of last week.  it was unplanned – but we upgraded our server, or so i’ve been told, and that put me out of commission – sads.  it was sort of a well-timed blackout because honestly, the week was a crazy one and while i had thoughts to share i hadn’t really had a chance to wrap my mind around it all.

and truthfully, i’m not sure i’ll ever really be able to put into words my  feelings around the terrible events in boston, the crazy world that we live in and the strength of community in the midst of heartache and madness.  it’s just so many emotions at once and well, it leaves me feeling anxious and completely overwhelmed.  like so many, i just want to spend more time with my kiddo and ABN, which thankfully, we did this weekend (including EBN finally mastering going down steps – it seems like our days of scooting might be coming to an end…but more on that later in the week).

i don’t usually share too much of work life in this space, but for today, this piece that i wrote feels (guardedly) appropriate.

and also, neil – because life is about balance:

if you ask EBN what we did on saturday night she’ll tell you she went down a long escalator and took the train into the big city for dinner.  if you ask me, we drove to the nearest station and rode bart two stops to the glen park station (not so much the city but still a big difference from pacifica) where we had a mediocre and expensive dinner.  but that part really isn’t important.

the little one absolutely loves riding public transportation.  she giggles her way up and down the escalator, talks to every passenger (whether they want to talk or not) and counts down from the time the doors ding to when the train actually starts moving (3, 2, 1, BINGO!).  she discovered her pockets. and ordered caesar salad, french fries and apple juice for dinner (sounds good to me!).

we ran into an old friend from our sf playgroup – it’s amazing how quickly time passes.  it was fun for the grownups to reconnect and compare notes – i can’t believe how big our girls have grown.  i so clearly remember our first get together – sitting on the back patio of a coffee shop (the same one that i now often find myself working from), drinking tea and wearing our babies.  EBN was the only one without a hat on sunny but cool san francisco day.  now the kiddos are getting ready for preschool in the fall.

so i ordered a second margarita.