21/365 painting a picture to welcome nani and p’pa

22/365 playing the airport waiting game…with baby deke

23/365 open.open.open

24/365 flower picking

25/365 sipping “tea” at neimans

14/365 the many faces of EBN (clockwise from top left): silly face, thinking face, stink face, happy and new happy face.

you are welcome

1/365 – a first family hike of 2013.  on the search for mushrooms and “me-anna slugs”

2/365 – tie dye, ikat, americana – always on trend (all trends)

3/365 – caught in the act

4/365 – enjoying spur of the moment ipad time

my new year’s eve wasn’t off to a great start.  it started off with a poop explosion (sorry EBN but it’s true – how one little one can produce so much i will never fully understand).  then i snapped at ABN for no good reason other than i was feeling overwhelmed by the poop and making breakfast and putting together a grocery list and laundry when all i really wanted to do was blow-dry my hair.  we then headed over to my favorite coffee shop but while we were both trying to get work done it was a bit over crowded by noisy people who didn’t seem to need to get much done at all.  and it was freezing.  i’d been to said coffee shop before and there’s been a fire going but on this day no such luck so i headed up the street and bought a pair of fingerless gloves that i could crochet myself.

ritas and one very cute toddler – a ended up being the perfect nye

it was time to shake this grump.  i plugged in my earbuds and  listenedto the nashville soundtrack, followed by the lumineers and then a little she & him.  ABN ordered lunch and i fully enjoyed my break from paleo (a tuna melt on a spinach wrap for lunch and then a a new year’s appetizer-filled dinner made up of lot’s of cheese and probably a few too many pigs in a blanket).

i’m not one for resolutions (i know, total cliche) but i think a few specific goals for the new year might do me some good.  who knows if i’ll keep them but as of today it seems like a pretty good plan.

1. Read 20 Books

i mentioned this yesterday but i’d like to surpass the number of books that i read in the last year – and i’d like to read with some purpose.  i’m a happier person when i have someone else’s story (real or imagined) to get lost in.  i’m not crazy enough to think that if i make a super specific reading list (like i did this past summer) i won’t vere off course.  but a few ideas include: interview with the vampire (i know, it’s shameful that i haven’t read it yet), to make it to at least one mom’s book club gathering, the happiness project and one completely indulgent series (ala hunger games/50 shades/girl with the tattoo).  i’m starting the year off with the blessing of the skinned knee - so far so good.

2. Keep on Keeping on with Paleo

we’ve been a little lax over the last few weeks – but nothing crazy.  still basically sticking to a paleo lifestyle with a few exceptions thrown in for fun.  and while the cheese and bread and diet coke and sour candy (okay maybe a bit more than lax) have been great – they really do seem to make me feel crumby.  i’m not nuts – everyone needs a break, but for better or worse we all seem to feel our best (and look our best) when sticking as close to the paleo plan as possible.  with the new year we are going to restart the 6 week challenge (just because it’s so easy to plan life when the meals and shopping lists are already in place) and then we’ll see what comes next.

3. 365 Photos of EBN

i’m jumping on the A BEAUTIFUL MESS bandwagon and taking a 365 challenge.  and the subject matter is obvious.  i’d like to say i’ll be breaking out the dslr for this project but i’m setting out with at least the initial idea that this is an attainable goal and so more realistically i’ll be relying heavily on instagram.  i’ll share photos here regularly (probably not all of them) and while i might not share them each and every day the idea is to snap one for every day of the year.  and then, when the job is done, i think a 365 book will be in order (a pretty sweet reward if ido say so myself).

4. Snap Less, Breathe More

this goal is a biggie and i have to admit, it’s a late, but really necessary edition to this list.  i’ve noticed that my patience, especially with ABN has been dwindling and in the last few days, i barely recognize the person i have become.  i have a constant scowl on my face, i’m annoyed and i’m frustrated – for no real reason, at least no reason that i can articulate.  i’m not stressed.  i’m not pregnant.  why on earth am i acting like this?  i’ve got to remember to breathe.  i’ve got to work on taking out my crazy on the one person who actually takes away the crazy.  when i’m like this, i’m no fun to be around and above all else, i like to be fun to be around dammit!

5. Get Outside More with EBN

i know this will directly impact the amount of snapping/nagging i do.  fresh air does a mama good.  for the first 9 or so months that we lived in pacifica EBN and i averaged 3 miles a day either at the beach or in the county park or even just heading down our big steep hill to the post office and to playgroup.  but now, i can’t remember the last time we took a real walk.  sure, we head to the park and stroll the path at the beach and while EBN gets a work out, i sure don’t.  i need to find a way to do both.  i do still find time to run for myself, but i’d like to see if can get her back into the stroller, to not be as reliant on our car, to get a little more fresh air in our lungs.

6. Build our Record Collection – Slowly

we have been having so much fun with our brand new record player!  i’m loving re-discovering the music of my youth (i’m old) and having crosby, stills, nash and young, carol king, cat stevens and paul simon (just to name a few) fill our home is really the very best.  and EBN can’t get enough sesame country, sesame disco and of course free to be.  the only problem is, now i want more.  i’ve purchased a couple but i’ve also held back.  i know there are details to be found and rather than just filling my amazon cart i should really hunt down the albums and buy them over time.  i just couldn’t hold out on this one.

7. Give this Space the Time it Deserves – and Needs

i love coming here – i love sharing our stories and reflecting back on our experiences.  i love that there is a record – even if it lives in cyberspace.  i look forward to reading the words of other women who are going through similar experiences as well as those who’s adventures i can only dream about completely understanding.  but so often, because our days are busy, because our lives are full, because i pile on so much, this space is a rush, a last minute jumble of thoughts and feelings.  i typically plan out my posts a week in advance but for the most part i don’t write until the day before (or the day of) and then i’m rushing to edit and add photos and post.  ideally i’d be working from a monthly calendar (obviously with room for changing my mind/adding a post/scheduling things when appropriate).  i want to find someone to create a new logo and layout to reflect what this space is all about.  and i’d like to begin to think about doing more with my writing than what i am currently doing.  i don’t know what that means – but something.

8. Host Passover – and Enjoy it!

i was super successful with this last year – so really, i just want a repeat performance.  we are so lucky that so many choose our home as their place to celebrate and truly the more people squeezed around our tables, the happier i am.  our guest list has expanded, our traditions need a bit of revamping, our menu needs to be updated.  this is exactly what i want.  and i want to not find the experience stressful.  so starting soon the prep will begin – for january the mini goals include putting together a guest list, sending a save-the-date and creating a calendar to follow until the night of the seder.

9.  Take a Sewing Class

basically, since EBN’s first birthday, where i found myself glued to my sewing machine for months in advance, i’ve barely touched the thing.  there has to be a happy medium and i’m really wanting to find it.  i have no crazy plan that i’ll become a master quilter but i’d like to be able to fully set up my office and move my sewing machine upstairs (i think it’s more realistic – the craft room has really become a much needed storage center) and be able to hem clothes and make EBN little dresses.  realistically, i think it might need to be an online class.

10. Travel Less

it’s no secret – i crave routine.  and i pretty much love our regular life (when i’m not snapping – i hate snapping…ugh).  while getting out of town is great and special and wonderful, traveling is a pain in the ass.  i want to stay in pacifica more make the most out of our coastal town (and the surrounding area).  i want to have time host bbqs (and attend bbqs) to decide, at the last minute that the three of us are going to go on an adventure.  ABN and i already have our year planned out as far as travel is concerned and while it would appear pretty packed by other people’s standards, for sure, we’ve cut back a lot.  we even decided to nix a long planned island get away for just the two of us and instead, extend a friends trip to wine country that will now include time for the two of us.

11. Continue to Grow and Define my Consulting Business

i’ve learned so much over the last few months – about myself, about being my own boss, about working remotely, about what i’m good at (and what i’m not so great at), about what i’m really interested in doing more of.  i’m excited at the prospects for 2013 professionally.  i’m looking forward to engaging with a couple of new clients – and strengthening some already established relationships.

12. Get in the Tub

the not so secret is out – ABN and i got a hot tub.  we had decided to do a fairly significant anniversary gift for each other way back in september but life moves quickly.  the good news is once we finalized our decision the tub was ordered and installed in a matter of two weeks – pretty remarkable considering this all happened over xmas and new years.  i’m excited for the hot tub mostly because ABN and i need a structured way to spend real time together.  i’ve said it like 25 million times but life is busy.  there is always more work to do, laundry to fold and tv shows to watch.  our nightly routine, after EBN has gone schluff, looks a lot like this: ABN goes into my office to catch up on his side projects, or to get a bit further on whatever he challenge he was tackling while in the office, or to respond to emails from e weeks ago that he never got around to, or to pay the bills, or to deal with some difficult issue that i have decided he should be responsible for.  i sit on the couch and take care of a few last minute work details for the next day, i crochet and blog and watch bad tv.  and then i get into bed and read and by the time he is getting into bed ready to read for few minutes, i’m ready to turn off my light.  so now we have this hot tub and while it’s unrealistic to think we’ll go in every night, the goal is to use it as much as possible.  we’re both pretty excited about sitting in the tub from 10:30 – 11 and having a glass of wine.  if there’s only one thing from this list i stick to, i’m sorta hoping it’s this one.

13. To Say No More

clearly, by far, the biggest challenge on this list.  but i’ve got to do it.  for me, for ABN for EBN.  i’ve got to limit the amount i take on for all of us.  i know this sorta goes against the preceeding list – but really, it does make sense.  i agree to things in the moment, without thinking it through – and i’ve got to slow down.  i’ve got think about what i want, what i need and what will make me happy.  i’ve got great examples in my life that i can follow and i’ve really got to start doing it.

bring it on 2013 – i’m ready for ya!

let’s talk about my two friends dylan and gabriel.  i know them from my past life, when we all lived in manhattan – me on the upper west, them on the upper east, and we’d meet in the middle for shabbat services in the park.  from the day we met, it was clear they were good people – constantly working to do their part to make the world a better place.

it’s been a very long time since those days in new york but as we’ve moved, married, changed jobs and added kids to the mix, we’ve stayed mostly up to date on each other’s lives through facebook.  i followed closely as they shared updates as hurricane sandy approached, arrived and retreated.

but still, imagine my surprise to find THIS LETTER, written by gabe, as i made my way through the huffington post saturday morning, reviewing articles for an on-going consulting project.  i’m inspired and hope that you will be too.

as a parent i continue to be reminded that what i do – the choices, the beliefs, the money, the time – all of it matters.  EBN is watching and listening and learning every moment.  i want her to learn from our actions.  i want her to know that every little bit of effort – to change the world, to make her voice heard – counts for something.

if your interested and able, please help to fund E’s PIGGY BANK FOR VICTIMS OF HURRICANE SANDY.  EBN is way too young to understand the destruction that sandy caused, in a place so very far away.  but we’ve talked about how many people are sad and that we are trying to do our part to make things just a little bit better for them.  and how 1 little boy is helping to make such a very big difference.

today marks exactly two weeks of this whole PALEO PLAN taking over my life – so it seems as good a time as any to offer a little update.  here’s the rundown:

recently enjoyed: paleo trail mix, chef’s salad, paleo pumpkin muffins and tilapia with macadamia and avocado salsa and roasted beets

let’s go back in time about 3 weeks.  BUDDY aka MURK aka life coach aka…you get the idea…showed up to her usual babysit EBN gig (which is less babysitting and more preschool of one – i always come home to find a kid who knows WAY more than she did when i left in morning) with a funny looking lunch.  apparently, she was going to try a paleo challenge for the next 6 weeks and she had brought with her meals number 1 and 2.  for those of you who aren’t in the know (which means you don’t live in the bay area and you aren’t on pinterest) paleo is all about eating like a caveman caveperson.  there’s a lot of meat and seeds and nuts and veggies and fruits.  there’s no dairy  or grain or sugar or processed food.  if you know me at all, you’d know that typically i’d be all, uh, no.

but then we go back another week or so.  turns out a couple of ABN’s coworkers are into this whole paleo thing and one of them gave a presentation that i took part in, about the paleo lifestyle.  his dramatic weightloss got me thinking for sure, but so did the other benefits.  i’m a girl who has had constant tummy troubles since high school.  no question, it’s stress related.  but it’s triggered by food as well.  and i think it would be difficult to find someone who likes her carbs and sugary snacks and diet cokes as much as me.  it was time for a detox.

i’m a girl who takes direction pretty well so we’re following a specific plan.  i’m cooking a ton.  that’s an understatement.  i’m cooking 3 meals a day, plus preparing a snack.  cooking.  not pouring cereal into a bowl for breakfast.  it’s taking basically all my free time (which explains my lack of crochet progress) but the recipes have been delicious.  i’ve had lots of foods in my house that i never imagined i’d find myself slicing, dicing, roasting and grilling.  recent meals include: pork sausage stir fry, ginger beef and broccoli, egg with avocado and salsa, grilled chicken breast with sweet potato mash and sautéed kale.

after two weeks i can tell you – i’ve lost weight.  mostly, i think it’s due to the fact that i’m eating way less than i typically eat.  there’s no extraneous snacking; no shoving a handful of cheddar bunnies in my mouth as i set out EBN’s lunch, there’s basically no dessert.  but, even better, i’m feeling great.  not a tummy ache to be had (okay truth: i’ve cheated once.  my friend was visiting and she brought cheese and bread from CHEESE BOWL in berkeley and it was just too much to resist.  i had very little and yet, i paid for it dearly).  for the first few days i’d finish a meal and still feel hungry.  then i realized, it wasn’t hunger, i just wasn’t stuffed.   go figure.

so two weeks down, four more to go.  as of now, i’d like to keep it up after the challenge portion is over.  i mean, don’t get me wrong – i’m looking forward to a flex day in which we can order in sushi (yes, those date nights are on hold right now), or i can swing by a drive thru and pick up a fountain soda diet coke.  but for right now, i’m enjoying my paleo trail mix.