Shelter Us

sometimes i hope she never gives up her bottle

for as long as there has been an EBN – there has been a bed time routine.  i mean, technically the routine has evolved, a bit, – and half the time ABN does his routine, which is slightly different from mine (less singing, more reading…a LOT more reading).  but more or less, every night, it’s the same.  the same books.  the same songs.  the same i love you EBN, sleep well, mama will be back to check on you later.

for the last few weeks i’ve noticed that EBN is more of a participant in the routine.  she picks the order that we read her books and she often reads along.  after we are done reading, she turns off the lights and turns her turtle nightlight/stuffed animal on.  she holds on to COCO tightly, lays her head first on my left shoulder, then on my right, again on my left, again on my right, on and on as i sing and she coos “awwww baby”, and quietly relaxes.  then i lay her down in her crib and she begins to settle into her preferred sleeping position (head crammed into corner, tush straight up into the air) and i tip-toe out the door.

but last night, out of nowhere, as i sang her bedtime prayer, the same prayer that she has heard almost every night since she made her debut, she decided to sing along.  quietly at first but then a bit louder and with more emphasis on her preferred final syllables.  it made my heart melt a lot a little.  i know she doesn’t know the specific meaning of the prayer (especially because half of the words are in hebrew) or the significance that her mama sang the same words every night at camp for a few too many years.

but she gets the true meaning – and to me, the songs now have such greater significance than before.