Poop

the cuteness is all an act

we all have our breaking point and, after 19 1/2 months, i have reached mine.  over poop.  get ready – this post is TMI from beginning to end (and not the good, kinky kind).

for the last 2 weeks, every morning when i go in to get EBN out of her crib, she and it, are covered in shit.  covered.  every morning.  and i just can’t take it anymore.

EBN has always been a great pooper (we all excel in our own ways).  multiple times a day, every day the girl gets the job done.  for months we could expect that she’d poop before her nap and then at some point between dinner and bed and probably another time in between.  she rarely woke up with a poop – hell, often her diaper was only slightly wet after 11+ hours of sleep.  but that was then.  it all started with SOAKED diapers in the morning.  they were heavy and they must have been uncomfortable and over time, she started leaking through.  little did i know that was only a preview of what was to come.

in addition to being a great pooper, she’s a good communicator too.  during the day she runs right up to me, “peeeeeeeeeeepeeeeeeeeeeeee! peeeeeeeeeeeepeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” and sure enough, when i check, she needs a clean diaper.  and when she poops during the day – off to a corner she goes – typically, with her back to a tall bookcase, up on her tiptoes (which seems like it would make things more…difficult…but she has her way).  and then “poo poo, poo poo, poo poo,” not that the stench leaves much to the imagination.

but in the morning – she’s all about hanging out in it.  i can hear her through the monitor, sweetly babbling to her self, singing twinkle twinkle, reading JAMBERRY and THE SHAPES OF MY JEWISH YEAR (it’s part of a series).  and when she finally starts to say “mama? mama? mama?”, in a way that i just can’t resist….i’m met with a toddler grinning from ear to ear and bouncing, and dancing…IN SHIT.

i now wake up with the expectation that my day will begin with me holding my breath, trying not to gag as i strip the kiddo and the bed, throwing her (kicking screaming) into the shower…let’s just say there is general unhappiness all around.  except for ABN, who sleeps through most of this.  i’ll give him the excuse that he’s on vacation…?  when he does wake up and he opens the door to our bedroom, i notice that he now peeks through to eye us both and try to get a read on how the morning has gone so far.  not well ABN, not well.

last night, while out playing mahjong, i received the following text: SHE’S TAKING A POST-DINNER POOP!  immediately, i smiled.  for sure this would mean a morning free of shit.  i slept particularly peacefully but this morning when i went in to get her, my hopes were quickly dashed.  that smell – that smile.  poop on the bumpers, in her hair, on her books.  WHY!?!?

so i’m turning to you, dear internet.  i’ve shared my (literal) dirty laundry.  what is a mama to do?!?