A Near Perfect Day

i sitting our back deck, barefoot and munching on wasbai edamame.  EBN is taking her second nap of the day which she went down for without a fuss (well, when i first detached her from my boob she let a k’vetch as if to say, NOT.DONE.YET – so back she went for another swallow or two before drifting deep enough into dream land that she could suck nothing – happily).  this morning, ABN took EBN on one of their hikes which meant that i was able to sleep 15 extra minutes, shower, make coffee, empty the dishwasher, start laundry and clean out the fridge and EBN’s overstuffed drawers all before 8:30am.  then our fearless babysitter arrived around 9 and i disappeared into the basement to get a handle on work.  when i re-emerged at 1:30, almost everything felt under control.  we said goodbye to the babysitting queen and EBN and i took advantage of the beyond gorgeous day (who needs summer when you have october in the bay area!?) and took an extended beach walk before stopping to pick up fresh veggies before heading home.

so often a day my day feels unmanageable.  not good or bad just too much to find many moments of satisfaction.  constantly moving and doing – running from one thing to the next.  EBN makes me laugh so hard – the way she grunts mama like a monster straight out of a horror movie, but i’m so worried about remembering to update a nurse about a client or get EBN’s laundry put away before she attempts a nap that i have to run to the next thing and don’t have time to really appreciate my little girl (or make videos to share!).  when ABN gets home at the end of the day, i’m so exhausted that i just sit and listen forgetting to share with him our highlights – EBN pooped 4 times, EBN knows the hand motions to the first 3 versers of the wheels on the bus, EBN is working really hard at throwing kisses but right now it looks more like she is trying to eat her elbow – and maybe that too.

i typically spend EBN’s naps willing her to sleep just a few more minutes so i can get a bit more done, cross one more item off my list.  but tonight i’m sitting here, watching the sky begin to change color as the haze comes off the water, listening to the pigs (yep) grunt at each other next door, i’m actually counting down the minutes until i can go and wake her up.  i’m not sure what i did today that is so different from every other day.  but today is near perfect.